Terrified!!

Alright! I think I've figured out how I am going to handle posting, I will do it in the evenings for the next day! So here we go!

I titled this one Terrified because I don't think I can put into words just how terrified I was to start this blog. You see my husband said to me one day the most profound thing I think I have ever heard! He said "You keep waiting around for God to tell you what you want to do. Instead of figuring out what you want and heading that way and letting God help you get there." I was frustrated and stunned! I mean WHAT?!?! But, he was right.

So I began thinking about what I would want to do if I could do anything in the world. (This was a week or so after God gave me the vision for Awakening.) Then one night, again at that moment of being right on the edge of a great nights sleep I saw this stadium full of people! And I mean FULL!! I was seeing from back stage, but a zoomed up position where all I could see was the crowd. They were just there, I don't remember seeing a noticeable "life" in them. Then the position zoomed back out and I saw me on the stage speaking! Again, WHAT?!?! After that I noticed the crowd had erupted, they had been awakened! And so, the amazing dream from before became a very terrifying dream!

I fear not being good enough, or messing up! Now I know that God equips the ones He calls and that through Him all things are possible! (Mark 10:27 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”) I also know that God has a way of choosing the least likely to work His miracles through. Still yet, I hate the thought of God having this great and mighty purpose for my life and me dropping the ball. I can't stand the thought of people going to Hell because I messed up somewhere and didn't say something I was supposed to or didn't do what I should have.

And so, I am terrified about this blog because it is another step on the path that God is leading me down. I guess part of me wanted God to start a blog for me and give me all of these supernatural ideas and words that will just blow everybody's mind. When really, these thought are supernatural because they are what God has birthed inside of me; questions, ideas, theories, etc. As far as God starting the blog and saying here you go Brenna, well I very wise man once told me "God will never do for you what you can do yourself". So here we are, I'm doing it! Any prayers from you all are always appreciated!

Tomorrow, or today for those of you reading Saturday, is the start of another one of those scary steps. I am leading up, along with a friend Amanda, a Good Morning Girls McAlester fall study. (If you do not know about the womenlivingwell.org or goodmorninggirls.org blogs, then I highly recommend that you check them out!) The group is their Colossians Fall Bible Study, we are starting it late due to different calendar events. This is another thing I was absolutely terrified about. It seems so silly I know, but I work with students! They don't scare me, adults... That's a whole different story! And I'm only 20, not to mention a woman, but since this is a woman's study group that one can slide. It's a little nerve wracking for me! If I look dumb in front of students, well they're students most of the time they're doing something silly or dumb anyway, no biggie. If I do something dumb in front of adults then they'll remember!! So this is a huge step for me!!

With that said, if you are around the McAlester, Ok area and are free Saturday mornings at 10:30 then you a more than welcome to come on down to Harbor Mountain and join us! If you can't be there and still want to do the study then I will be posting the lessons on the GMG McAlester Facebook page later tomorrow. Also, I will try to figure out how to post it on he too! If it doesn't show up check out the fb page: http://www.facebook.com/GMGMcAlester?ref=hl

Thank you so much for your support and prayers! I look forward to walking through this journey with you all!

~Awaken Us~
Brenna Stanford