Do you remember a few weeks ago when I came back and thanked you all for your grace? You all have walked with me through seasons and some of which were "dry" seasons when it comes to blogging. Well I told you then that instead of retreating during seasons that I would dive in and bear my heart. So here you go. :)
I, being the human I am, failed. I continue to try to live on yesterday's mana. I let my mind wander to what others have and what I am lacking. I stopped noticing the things I am thankful for and stopped looking for the good in my life. I only noticed what wasn't.
This was the foothold I let Satan have. As soon as I gave him an inch, he tool a mile, and then another. He was making his way to my heart and consuming my mind.
I had burning tears sting my face, thinking; NO! This isn't it. This is NOT what I'm going to live in. I felt this when I was younger, misery {there's nothing more in this world, hopelessness}. I cannot live this again!
The interesting thing is that NOTHING in my life changed. There wasn't anything that happened that "ruined" my life. I was living in the same blessings that God had given me, but I was only seeing what wasn't. I chose to allow one negative thought to snowball into a mind consuming battle.
All the while God was there, my best friend, quietly reminding me that he has already won this war. This chaos in my mind, he already quieted it, but I have to choose where I am going to stand; in the chaos or in the peace.
At this the devil yelled! I chose God already. What I am living in is because of others. "They" made me this way, "they" did this! Oh, his yell roared! My rock was strong, but when their sand swirled, it effected my foundation. I should be mad!
And my friend, still quiet, full of peace, kept calling me. His voice so tender and sincere, carrying a melody that my heart longed to dance to. One that was familiar, yet new.
So, we danced. We danced to a song of humility. Because, while meekness can seem so humiliating in the definition we know, there is nothing more empowering. The ones around me, who see the very worst of me will either see a savior who loves like uno other, or a crazy woman.
Nothing about this journey makes sense. I am learning to be okay with that. My challenge, and maybe yours too, is to not try to plan and put together an entire puzzle with only one piece. My dance, the song He is singing over me, is to live each moment with new mana, enjoying all the qualities of that puzzle piece. I am to praise Him with a thankful heart, laying down all of my weakness as well as all of my dreams. My dance is to enjoy with full gladness everything I have and everything I lack, knowing that He is constantly singing over me.
Today, I pray that you find peace. May my weakness show off God's strength! Let Him strengthen you too!
Father, my best friend, thank you for singing such a beautiful song over me. I ask you to sing over everyone of your children. May they hear your song and respond with humility and joy to your love! You know right where they are and everything they are facing. May they hear your quiet whisper through the enemy's roar. In Jesus' name, Amen.
~Awaken Us~
Brenna Stanford
Scripture:
- "For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard." Romans 3:23 NLT
- "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." John 1:8 NIV
- “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day." Exodus 16: 4 NIV (whole chapter here)
- "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8 NIV
- "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV
- "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 NIV
- "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8 NIV
- "And after the fire came a gentle whisper....Then a voice said to him," 1Kings 19:12-13 (whole chapter here)
- "Oh give thanks to the LORD, call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples." 1 Chronicles 16:8
- "Bless the LORD, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul," Psalm 103
