I'm going Crazy!!
I'm sure as Christians we have all thought this at least a million times!! Haha no but I am willing to bet that we have all thought this at least once. Think about any time you've heard from God on anything, it probably sounded a little crazy.
My first time to experience this was when I was a Senior in high school. I remember very vividly setting on my folded out futon in a room that was all red and black. I was probably listening to The Message on Sirius XM Radio while reading my Bible and praying. My favorite books in the Bible at this point were 1 & 2 Corinthians.
I remember suddenly feeling like I was loosing my mind!! While feeling this I was simultaneously feeling like God was calling me into the ministry. But I had been a Christian for 4 months at max, how could God be calling me into the ministry?! Is that even possible?! There was a whirlwind of thoughts going on and I was having issues filtering them. i had been attending Life Church for since August, I got saved in September and quickly got involved wit our youth group but I didn't have anyone's phone number. I was just this loud, exuberant, red headed teenager that pretty well jumped right in no matter what the other people thought. Luckily I was accepted!! :) So I got on my phone and found our church's website and emailed our youth pastor. He probably thought that I was insane also. My email babbled on with a mixture of apologies, the thoughts of insanity, feeling "called" and uncertainty. We ended up meeting and I have had favor from God like I could never imagine! At 17 years of age I got to team up with my youth pastor to pioneer an internship that is still running 4 1/2 years later. At 19 my pastors took what I would imagine being a HUGE step of faith and offered me a job! Almost 4 years later I have been blessed enough to work with just about every ministry we have and even pioneer a few discipleship groups!
Fast forwarding 4 years, I am married and expecting our second child in december. God has made me promises about several things concerning my family. One of which is my children. Before my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child God gave me a few dreams, one was a ministry and another was my children. So a few months (maybe 3 months, probably closer to 2 lol) we found out that we were expecting! Neither my husband nor I were planning or even thought that we were ready to have a child! Needless to say we made it through. Our son is now 15 months old and the most amazing thing that has happened to us.
My husband and I once more had put together a plan to wait a certain amount of time before we had another one. Let's just say God's plans will always happen!!! :) You see if we would've waiting on our timing then the dream God gave me of our children wouldn't have come to pass. Once I found out I was unexpectedly (at least by us) expecting AGAIN I was very tempted to freak out! I started to then God reminded me "before the birth of our next son", this was part of a prayer that I prayed for my family several months back. He then reminded me of the dream about our children. So for 4 months now I have stood in faith on those little nuggets from God. Let me tell you, for 4 months Hell has come at my family non-stop and vigorously!! But we stand!
About a month ago we were getting ready to have our ultrasound to reveal our gender and I remember feeling that "I'm going crazy" feeling again!! What if we aren't really having a boot? I've told everyone in certainty that we are in fact having another boy. When asked how I know or told that I can't know my response was always God has already shown me my children! As those thoughts of doubt and I have to be crazy started flooding my mind, God took me back to the very first time I felt like I was going crazy. At that there was peace!
The thing I want to encourage you with today is that when you are in conversation with God and in that spiritual place others who aren't won't understand. By the worlds standard you may be crazy but that's okay!! 1 Corinthians 2:12-14 says this, "We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the thing that come from the Spirit, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."
Be strong in your faith!! Mark 11:24 says, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." It's okay to feel like your going crazy, stand strong in God through it all and you WILL see the reward!!
~Awaken Us~
Brenna Stanford
